@2sassy4h: HR said I have to stop yelling “let’s make a baby” every time I want to collaborate on a project with someone.
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@DaddyJew: Interviewer: If I called your former boss right now and asked him- Me: *smacks the phone out of his hand* don't do that
@nesgritton: Yes, I am aware pigs are more intelligent than dogs. Why would I want to eat an inferior animal and absorb its lesser powers?
@murrman5: [home depot guy going through my list] these are all the things from the game Mouse Trap