YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@EJGomez: *Tim Burton slams hands on table* WTF DO U MEAN THERE ARE OTHER ACTORS BESIDES JOHNNY DEPP & MY WIFE *turns to Depp* HOW LONG HAVE U KNOWN
@crmotwo: People told me 10 carrots for an engagement was excessive but it's my $100,000 and my fiancé deserves as much produce from Whole Foods as she pleases.
@DanMentos: Fun Prank: put a live turtle and a tiny pair of nunchucks in your toilet before your guests arrive
@CornOnTheGoblin: [girlfriend texting me] so what are you gonna do to me tonight ;) [remembers how she likes it rough] shoot you out of a cannon