Hubby: Whatcha got there?
Me: Granola, fresh fruit and yogurt
Hubs: Ugh *wanders off*
Me: *eats my ice cream in peace*
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Becky on Facebook is having a bad hair day and wonders if anything will ever go right. Be strong Becky, be strong. Also shut up.
“I set all the cattle free.”
– Reverse Cowgirl
Patanjali salt label says it was created 250 million years ago from Himalayan rocks. Expiry is in 2018. Guess they dug it up just in time!😄
Kids wont go to sleep so I’m playing hide&seek. And now they’ll never find me, because they aren’t old enough to drive or get into this bar.
A walk of shame is always sad. Don’t make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
If you love someone let them go. If they come back they probly forgot their keys or something & yikes that’s gonna be an awkward 30 seconds.
Her: I picked up buffalo wings.
Me: * moves furniture around
* rolls out plastic sheeting
me: siri, clear my evening appointments, i’ve got a date tonight.
siri: “lol yeah ok. beep boop beep. gotcha.”
what’s cool about Mitt Romney is that when you put politics aside he’s still a genuinely detestable person