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@ericsshadow: HUNDRED DOLLAR IDEA:
Go to an ATM.
@TheDrunkStory: All semester I got 60% on my tests while sober. Took my final exam drunk and got a 84% on it - University of Wisconsin Parkside
@IntrovertSquad: Friend: wanna hang out tomorrow?
Me: I actually performed an activity yesterday. Please wait the three day recovery period to submit another inquiry.
@Tmoney68: Don't think you're immune. We're all just a whim away from singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." Yes, a whim away...a whim away...a whim away.
@darinlovesbacon: If aliens ever attack, I hope they do it in rows of 8, going right and left directly above me. I'm very skilled at shooting aliens this way
@stevevsninjas: At first I hated this, but my wife forced me to live with it a while, now I love it for some reason.