@osno13: i always carry a condom in my wallet incase i can't finish my corndog
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KandyKoehn: me: [in bed, hears a weird noise] wtf was that?! dracula: [bursts out of my closet] me: did you hear that too?! dracula: yeah wtf was that?!
@simoncholland: I was going to sign this permission slip to let my daughter watch The Grinch at school but I haven't heard back from North Korea yet.
@bobby: [neil degrasse tyson voice] the film is called Home Alone but thats actually a misnomer. in fact, kevin was joined in his home by 2 burglars