@osno13: i always carry a condom in my wallet incase i can't finish my corndog
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@drhappyknuckles: I'm writing a screenplay where a shark attacks people at the beach but, like, emotionally.
@iamspacegirl: me: Baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo baby shark doo doo doo doo doo baby shark! Mommy shark doo doo- Other people on life raft: please stop
@klimtsonian: “i don’t think i’ll have kids” -plain -invites arguments “this bloodline dies with me” -assertive -metal as hell -implies you’re taking on a great and noble burden which allows no arguments
@thenashleysays: me: im just so tired of the monotony of my life, it's exhausting doing and seeing the same things every day target employee: you could probably just not come here as much?