[first day working for IKEA]
Customer: one nightstand please
Me: sorry, I’m married
I always forget that Justin Bieber is Canadian, and then I remember that one of his biggest hits was called “Sorry”.
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How fast “Little pig, little pig, let me in”
turns in to “Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin”
People that still call into radio stations are probably doing it from house phones.
Personal Trainer: No pain, no gain
Last week I ran out of toilet paper and only had a dollar so I bought a pack of gum at CVS.
I haven’t run out of receipt yet.
And the Best McDonald’s Employee of the Month goes to Mad Max: Fury Road.
why are we only commenting our code? we should be liking and subscribing too
[Watching the news]
This is all wrong, villains are supposed to be fictional characters.
sorry, fb is still the best website
If my kids knew there was a light in the oven, they’d leave that one on too.