Me: Let’s go shopping
Him: Let’s stay home
Me: Let’s talk about our feelings
Him: Let’s go shopping
I always rode clean. Always. Never won any bike races. Never competed. Don’t even really know how to ride a bike. #vindicated
You Might Also Like
using microsoft word
*moves an image 1 mm to the left*
all text and images shift. 4 new pages appear. in the distance, sirens.
Maybe just don’t throw stones in any kind of house.
they can’t date any hot chicks #SnowmanDatingProblems
[guy about to invent monopoly]
*looking at friends* i have too many of these
Every now and then you meet someone you wish you could unhinge your jaw for. *waiting patiently*
Pee your name in the snow and you’ll quickly understand why they teach cursive in our schools.
Her: I just programmed all of my friends into my new cell phone.
Me: Wow, it holds three whole numbers?
According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
No Amazon, I don’t want to sort stuff by “Price: High to Low,” who are the billionaires who would even make that an option?