Date: “so, tell me a bit about yourself”
Me: “NICE TRY, FEDS”
I am fairly well educated, but not ‘knows every nuance of the English language’ educated.
I also have no idea what ‘nuance’ means.
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My Mom taught me to treat others the way I want to be treated so I always walk up to strangers and spray canned cheese in their mouth.
Don’t stay together for the kids. Stay together because neither one of you wants to raise those monsters alone.
putting some whiskey in my coffee cuz its ireland somewhere
Just updated My Facebook status from “Single” to “In a Trinity”. #wayoverdue
Woke up at 6 & went for a jog before hitting the gym for an hour. Now I’m back home, making up a bunch of absolute bullshit about my morning
Hi, I’m Suki. And I just turned the volume down because it was getting too cold in my car.
Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.
I’ve discovered I own five umbrellas, if anyone wants to stage a musical number.
So #Scaramucci lands a job, gets his boss fired, has a baby, gets a divorce, and is fired in the same week? Sounds like a Seinfeld episode.