@wolfpupy: i argued with the parrot at the pet store until it got sold away and the guy who bought it wouldnt let me in his car. that means i won
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@Kennedydp5: Ate a few shrooms & thought I was saving a baby from a building fire but I was really just climbing down from my bunk bed w/ a bag of fritos
@iwearaonesie: Give your kid a phone so they can call in case of an emergency or tell you what they want to be for Halloween or say they saw a squirrel or
@NikiWithIssues: Hey person who wrote "WASH ME" on my car, I know it wasn't my car that wrote that. My car doesn't speak English. I'm onto you.
@thomas_violence: 'gamer' & 'foodie' are bullshit labels because they suggest you are something b/c you passively enjoy something everyone passively enjoys