@ItsAndyRyan: I asked my wife for an audio book and she got me an encyclopaedia. That speaks volumes.
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@Dutch_50: Seems I can never find good brussels sprouts at the store, so I decided to grow them myself. Turns out I don't like brussels sprouts.
@HelloJessicaFox: If you encounter a bear DON'T RUN. Maintain eye contact. Keep maintaining it. Fall in love. Marry the bear. Tell story to your grandbearbies
@psybermonkey: Me: I want you to have this bracelet. it belonged to my grandmother. Her: why does it say "do not resuscitate"
@bobvulfov: DONALD TRUMP (45 minutes into watching wall-e): this film is not what i hoped it would be