@tartadepollo

I asked this homeless lady if I could take her home. She said yes, so I walked off with her cardboard box.

You Might Also Like

@Divergentmama

My kids remembered it was Tuesday, like some sort of wizards, so we’re eating tacos and school is cancelled for the rest of the week, because clearly they are doing better than most of us.

@dril

i would take so many bribes if i was a judge. half my shit would be bribes. take bribes from the criminals until theyre too poor to do crime

@kidd_kong78

There is so much going on here.

The name, the crimes, the mugshot.

@LLBadge

My GPS just did a shoulder shrug and said, “uhm, take a left here?” This can’t be good.

@Jason_Horton

I’m getting mixed signals from this girl first she is like “sorry I’m married” then it’s “leave me alone I’m married” I mean which is it

@Ristolable

For sale: car. Does not stop. You will have to jump in as I jump out. I have been driving this car for three years. Please help me

@iAmDelFreaky

They should fill the airbags with confetti to make car accidents more fun.

*crashes vehicle*

“OMG, my legs! Hey, a party!”

*dies smiling*