@MizzTangles: I bet Amelia Earhart is just wandering around in an IKEA somewhere.
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@IvyelleWright: Him: "I killed the spider for you. He suffered." Me: ( slowly turns around in swivel chair) "Splendid."
@KentWGraham: I got flipped off three times by the same woman during rush hour today. I’m never driving my wife to work again.
@yoyoha: How long does Netflix have to be down before they send someone to your house to stroke your hair & tell you everything's going to be alright