@DepecheALAmode: I bet Matt McConaughey isnt aware he's in movies. His agent drops him off & hes like "Ha-Allright..this is my life now? Cool camera broski!"
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@GrandadJFreeman: There are 3 types of pain... 1.) Pain. 2.) Excruciating Pain. 3.) STEPPING ON A LEGO!
@dumbbeezie: I startled my dog as she was peeing on a mailbox so now the dog she was leaving a message for is only gonna get half of it
@DaddyJew: Judge: order in the court, ORDER IN THE COURT Me on the witness stand:*lips pressed against the mic* 2 hot dogs and a milkshake, your honor