@BrandonVine

I bet when Kanye was little he played tag by himself, then argued with himself on whether he was tagged or not.

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@TheNYAMProject

My 4 year old asked if she could put makeup on me. I asked jokingly if she was going to “make me pretty,” to which she responded, dead serious, “you’re ALWAYS pretty, Mommy.” So I need to know where to get this child a unicorn do they have those on Amazon?

@thenatewolf

WEBSITE: You must be legal age to view this content. What year were you born?

ME AT 13: [Playing it safe] 623 BC

@InternetHippo

If you bought more toilet paper than you need legally I’m allowed to come poop at your house

@not_delicate

*Carefully measures exactly one serving of potato chips into bowl.

*hands bowl to child, eats the rest

@Shade510

Her: Umm…Where are you going?

Me: Walking the dog.

Her: When you get back, we need to talk.

* walks dog…returns 3 days later

@MissBamantha

I like to pride myself on knowing whether it’s Ice Ice Baby or Under Pressure by the first bum bum bum badda dum bum.