@xosm: I changed my phone ringtone to the doorbell sound bc I don't answer that either.
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@briangaar: I'm just looking for a woman who is smart, funny & can drive a getaway car tomorrow morning at 8
@sixfootcandy: Your dog is hyper if he skips his afternoon walk.? Oh please. You should see my raccoon after a can of Mountain Dew.
@david8hughes: [son's football game] Other dad: which one's yours? Me: I can't remember. I just wait for him in the car when the games over
@hythemafia: *Food hits floor* Little Germs: "Let's get it!" King Germ: "No!!! We must wait 5 seconds......"