I love arguing with you so much, I’ll bring a Ouija board to your funeral.
I couldn’t bear it anymore. Lol.
– Bear suicide note.
You Might Also Like
If a crackhouse is filled with love, it becomes a crackhome..
My new neighbor seems like a really nice guy. He just suggested trimming the trees that cover my bedroom window.
Long distance relationships sucks 😳😳
Fridge you’re coming to my room.?
Food wedding anniversaries:
Year 1: champagne
Year 2: strawberries
Year 3: chocolate
Year 4: donuts
Year 5: protein shakes
Year 6: microwave meal
Year 7: Rat poison.
Me: you’re mad at me about what happened earlier aren’t you?
Arresting officer: little bit
I learn something new every day that I didn’t want to know.
I’m only going to have two glasses of wine tonight
~ refills 32 oz tumbler
“Are there drug dealers on Twitter?” Asking for 522 friends.
Some dude built his wife the Taj Mahal and I can’t get a DM from a guy that doesn’t have his wife in his profile picture