@IamEnidColeslaw: I do this really cute thing where I yawn right before my girlfriend kisses me so I almost swallow her face
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@sixfootcandy: (guy glaring at me because he wants to use the stationary bike) *adds 72 hours to cardio workout*
@LizHackett: Either Mercury is in retrograde or I made a series of poor choices that have since born fruit, but who can argue with the planets?
@_SingleBabyMama: My 3yr old lost her mind because I apparently hurt her doll's feelings. I swear I've been nothing but polite to that doll but now it's on.