Don’t “psh” me, Coca Cola I just opened.
I don’t draw my eyebrows on because I can’t commit to one facial expression. What if I see a puppy? What if my house burns down?
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Before twitter I would walk into a room and forget what I went in there for. nnNow, I don’t even walk into the right room
The prequel to 16 & Pregnant could be called “15 & Fully Trusted By Her Parents to Make Good Decisions, We Love You Brittani.”
sad day today because:
1. my fish in the aquarium is missing.
2. my cat won’t eat his dinner.
How to stop checking someone’s Facebook page:
1. Delete your Facebook profile
2. Break your phone
3. Give away your laptop
I’m obsessed with you. Not like peak through your window obsesseHEY I LIKE THAT DRESS WEAR THAT ONE
Really not sure why people tell me to “be honest” then get all upset when I tell them their eyebrows need a divorce.
This made me laugh and that’s all we need some days.
The best thing I ever did was install a fake doorbell.
Now no one ever knocks on my door.
Michaelangelo: Yea, sure, I’ll paint your ceiling.
Errybody gon be naked tho.