@murrman5: I don't get why you have to call my wife *librarian ignores me while on phone* "your husband is here trying to check out a book about ramps"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Jesssicle: My boyfriend said that I'm more than enough woman for him, and now I'm mad because I think he called me fat.
@Mom_Overboard: [Using raccoons for a heist] Pros: • stealthy • tiny hands • no fingerprints • blend in with the dark • attracted to shiny things • already have the outfit Cons: • distracted by shiny things • not great with directions • poor traffic safety
@Bexdora: My Mother worries about me living in London sometimes. I tell her it's not London she has to worry about. I just injured myself on a potato.
@njlitigator: Mark Zuckerberg I know you are a new parent but it's way more fun to tell children you are giving away their inheritance when they are teens