that moment when football players come out of the locker room and realize they’re all wearing the same thing again
I don’t know who needs to see this but don’t ever answer your phone on your way home from work. They want you to stop at the store.
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Trust me, it’s all filters and angles. I’m actually a saint bernard.
I’m crowd funding an organic lettuce purchase from Whole Foods.
i love pizza
acceptable thing to do with cpr dummy: learn how to save a life
unacceptable thing to do with a cpr dummy: learn how to create a life
Big day! I’ve decided to forgive the woman who told me I looked tired at a party three years ago.
I don’t regret pressing the close button in the elevator when people are running. If they have all that energy-they should take the stairs.
the bots have become self-efficient faster than we imagined
Spent two weeks with my grandmother and now I know why grandpa was a drunk
I could host an elegant dinner party, but I don’t know enough people with simmering tension over long-held secrets to make it worthwhile.