I don’t know who needs to see this but don’t ever answer your phone on your way home from work. They want you to stop at the store.

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Big day! I’ve decided to forgive the woman who told me I looked tired at a party three years ago.


I don’t regret pressing the close button in the elevator when people are running. If they have all that energy-they should take the stairs.


Spent two weeks with my grandmother and now I know why grandpa was a drunk


I could host an elegant dinner party, but I don’t know enough people with simmering tension over long-held secrets to make it worthwhile.