@hunz74: I don't worry when two shopping carts are stuck together, I just go with it and use both...or three. Today I had a row of ten.
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@SirEviscerate: ME: I was left in the woods as a baby. DATE: So, were you raised by wolves? ME: Not exactly. *gnaws a tree in half*
@ItsAndyRyan: Wife: We've been robbed! Me: I called the copse Wife: You mean the COPS? Group of trees: Hi, we're Special Branch
@ddsmidt: Me: If you're going to serve alcohol at a company party, then you shouldn't act so surprised when someone speaks their mind. HR: Get out
@HatfieldAnne: How far did I walk away from the sink when I was brushing my teeth? As always, too far.