@caperbc75: I feel bad for that caveman who invented the wheel because you know his mother-in-law was all "She shoulda married Grog. He invented fire"
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@kica333: *In the back of an ambulance Me: Change the radio station Paramedic: Please don’t speak. You need to save your energy Me: Im not dying to a Nickelback song
@shamans_heal: Pro Tip: If you leave an assortment of tissues, cold medicine, and a big bag of cough drops visible on your desk, coworkers will avoid you!