@AnnietheNanny1: I feel kind of sad that in some countries children are starving and I'm over here eating spiders in my sleep like a god damn glutton.
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@SenatorBigfoot: Alright, alright. You can all have jet packs! [two days later] Reporter: Another 8000 dead today due to sky rage.
@OctopusCaveman: This Halloween I’ve decided to be the house with the king size candy bars but I’m turning my porch light off because I’m not sharing.