@ohpeetie: I feel sorry for kids today but mostly because their cartoons are terrible.
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@Victoryoftheppl: Apple Maps: Our artisanal cartographers hope you enjoy this pleasant journey. 28 min Google Maps: Our algorithm has determined an optimal path for the most efficient route given current traffic conditions. 25 min Waze: Drive through this dude's living room. 17 min
@Sarcasticsapien: Rejecting someone by saying "you deserve someone better" is a fun way to let a person know you'd rather insult yourself than to date them.
@shadonium: Her: Show me your pics Me: Ok *blackberry restarts* *waiting* *gets married* *have kids* Son: Dad, your phone finished restarting *dies*
@kevinrowe1: At my age, a new driver's license doesn't have an Expires On date. It has a Renew If You Haven't Expired On date.