I feel so alive when I watch an object fall and shatter into hundreds of pieces. Not alive enough to clean up the mess though.
I finished 3 books today, and believe me, that’s a lot of coloring…
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I keep randomly shouting out ‘Broccoli’ and ‘Cauliflower’ – I think I might have Florets.
[Voice from police helicopter]
PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!
*takes flattering selfie in helicopter spotlight*
*uploads new avi*
most embarrassing email exchange I ever had:
– Sent an email
– They replied & called me “Mautice”
– I reply with a stink about how my name is properly spelled and that it’s actually really important to me
– They told me to check my 1st email
– I had misspelled my own name
Castles are great but I wish you could rent other forms of bouncy architecture
Considering how much I don’t wash my hair, I’m basically an environmentalist.
13: so dad, I was thinking.
Me: about what, son?
13: I’m taller than you…
Me: yeah, and?
13: *leans over me* I am the dad now.
*notices battery is at 4%*
*goes into airplane mode*
*turns down brightness*
*exits all apps*
*prays to jesus and compliments his sandals*
Whenever I’m on a flight and a bald person sits next to me, it takes a ton of willpower not to draw on their head when they are sleep.
My cat just brought me my purse and car keys not sure what he’s trying to tell me.