Why I hate technology:
Most of my lightbulbs now have a longer life expectancy than me.
“…She is survived by one son , three porch lights and one ceiling fan bulb”
I got a pet hyena because someone has to laugh at my tweets…
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Interviewer: So what do you have planned for the future?
Interviewer: No like long term.
Well well well, if it isn’t the guy from the cloud shapes in the sky…
if i die on a hill it’s gonna be the bottom of that hill. i’m not climbing up a hill to die
Looking forward to the day when “having a case of Corona” means you’re going to the beach and not the hospital.
ME: can you believe they are banning plastic straws and you have to bring your own
FRIEND: that sucks
ME: yes one that sucks, that’s how straws work
I can never remember if it’s “laying” or “lying.”
Anyway, I hit a dude with my car and he’s doing one of them in the middle of the road. 🙁
I turned out ok for someone essentially raised by Bugs Bunny.
Me: Do not ‘K’ me again.
Me: In any language.
This is why I’m crazy.
“I bet all those murders are done by that hooded guy whose always running around rooftops w 17 weapons on him.”-Nobody in Assassin’s Creed