My 7-year-old wrote this joke:
What’s a zombie’s favorite weather?
I’ve never been more proud.
I grounded my kid from electronics for a week and now he won’t stop talking to me and I think I’ve made a horrible mistake.
You Might Also Like
Landlocked countries with beach volleyball teams: who do you think you’re fooling?
*Tries new coffee with 300% more caffeine*
“It’s okay. Can’t feel a difference.”
[5 minutes later]
*Throws refrigerator out window*
no one still wants to fight me after I gently remove my earrings and swallow them
You haven’t lived until you’ve had a dog give you the “Jesus Christ go to bed already” look
Nurse: You can come inside now.
*Dusts off jacket*
*Straightens bow tie*
“That’s what she said”
Guys, if your lady tells you she needs windshield wiper blades, SHE DOES NOT MEAN FOR CHRISTMAS!
Want to stop getting invited to parties? Be a nonchalant double dipper.
It’s that simple.
i once saw a pigeon on the subway & it got off at the financial district & all i could think was “cool. that bird makes more money than me”
Me: Nothing is set in stone.
Gargoyle: Wow I’m like right here.