The Girl with the Hot Dog Tattoo
I had to dress up for a wedding today and when my 6 yr old saw me he exclaimed that I “looked beautiful! Just like Peaches!”
Peaches is our dog.
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Wish I had the unbridled enthusiasm of a freshly groomed dog heading straight for a mud puddle.
I walk into the main office of a new school:
Secretary: You a sub?
Me: Who have you been talking to?
If the van is a-rockin… please come check on me. I am probably stuck in my seat belt.
Women don’t make good meteorologists because they’re never wrong
It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.
3 eggs may not feed my family, but I found 2 boxes of cake mix and Mama ’bout to turn water into wine.
The most Seattle thing ever: I ran into a woman on my street using a mason jar with a light in it to look for her lost chicken
While driving a race car: Good
While using a condom: Bad
[on a planet teeming with life, covered in beautiful landscapes, limitless drinking water, breathable air]
*whiney voice* “it’s windy”