I had to dress up for a wedding today and when my 6 yr old saw me he exclaimed that I “looked beautiful! Just like Peaches!”

Peaches is our dog.

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Wish I had the unbridled enthusiasm of a freshly groomed dog heading straight for a mud puddle.


I walk into the main office of a new school:

Secretary: You a sub?

*cheeks blush*

Me: Who have you been talking to?


If the van is a-rockin… please come check on me. I am probably stuck in my seat belt.


Women don’t make good meteorologists because they’re never wrong


It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.


3 eggs may not feed my family, but I found 2 boxes of cake mix and Mama ’bout to turn water into wine.


The most Seattle thing ever: I ran into a woman on my street using a mason jar with a light in it to look for her lost chicken


[on a planet teeming with life, covered in beautiful landscapes, limitless drinking water, breathable air]

*whiney voice* “it’s windy”