@cmstetz13: I hate when people ask me if I'm all ready for Christmas. No Susan. I'm not even ready for today.
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@TheDinky: If a mugger ever asks me to draw an uppercase cursive Q or he'll shoot, tell my family I died a hero... #hero #cootertales
@vikkaroni: OMG, GODZILLA IS COMING TO ATTACK NEW ENGLAND AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE-oh, he said huge blizzard, not lizard... Carry on then.
@ibid78: Pouring water on someone's head to promote something is kinda weird. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let's go baptize some babies.
@BigRadMachine: Me: *disappears for a few weeks* Friends: *No concern* Me: *Posts inspirational quote on FB* Friends: Dude, you okay? You need to talk?