@sixfootcandy: I have a horrible memory, unless we're discussing something you did wrong.
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@daemonic3: [art store] You do free framing? "With any purchase" Ok, just this pencil and [slides a gun with wife's fingerprints] you know what to do
@crushingbort: *crowd in 1889 screaming because I appeared out of thin air and shot a baby* that was Baby Hitler...everyone calm down that was Baby Hitler
@3sunzzz: Me: Hi, my name is Ursula and I'll be your Uber driver. Patron: Um, why are you wearing a clown mask? Me: We'll be making one quick stop.