
I’m so out of touch with pop culture. My 5-year-old asked if DJ Marshmello was an actual marshmallow and I had to google it.
I’m so out of touch with pop culture. My 5-year-old asked if DJ Marshmello was an actual marshmallow and I had to google it.
oh you’re a millennial? name one industry you’ve killed
There’s no “us” in nachos.
cop: do you know why i pulled you over
me: [through foam mascot head] ya
I buy reverse osmosis filtered alkaline water for my dog and he prefers to drink out of the lake.
Shouldn’t elevators have a different name for the trip back down?
I’m trying to convince this guy that ‘jesus is the reason for the season’ but loansharks have a different perspective
Weird how Superman’s an alien but looks exactly like a white dude & then he landed in Kansas & not say, mainland China
inventor of oreos: in the center is yummy cream
nabisco: and the outside?
inventor: absolute garbage
nabisco: stop i love it
Me: What are the lyrics to every 80s sitcom I’ve ever seen
Brain: Coming right upMe: Remember to pay that bill
Brain: Nope