@lucidchemistry: I have to get Rosetta stoned to figure out what my pothead sister is texting me.
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@rohunsharma__: joe : you pin his arms and i'll- barack : .... barack : no joe joe : it'll be so easy come o- barack : i said no
@robfee: Everyone in horror movies: *loud scream* It was probably just the wind *a ghost flies across room* Just the wind *dog gets cut in half* Wind
@Playing_Dad: Me: Wanna hear a joke? Dog: sure Me: Knock knock *dog goes crazy barking at the door*
@uccjeb: Just saw 666 on a license plate and, in case you guys were wondering, Satan drives a Jeep.