@lucidchemistry: I have to get Rosetta stoned to figure out what my pothead sister is texting me.
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@samalmightysam: - Hey babe, do you like how I did my makeup? - Yes and if you want I can go and kill Batman with you.
@DonQuickoats: My dogs are barking a lot lately but I think it is because their performance appraisals are coming up
@xLiserx: *First Date* Me: *Flirting* You have to promise not to fall in love with me. Him: There's cheese in your hair. And we haven't eaten yet.
@RadOrDie: I gave my friend a gluestick instead of chapstick last weekend and she's still not talking to me.