@jrza84: I honestly have allergies and dry skin this time of year, but it never looks good for a dude to have tissues & lotion on his desk.
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@OBiiieeee: girls love us tall guys but as soon as we use our height to "constantly slam dunk on them and their loved ones" they stop replying to texts
@joegoats: Apparently the guy next to me and I aren't even going to discuss who uses this armrest.
@harriweinreb: they say plastic straws are ruining the ocean, so i've started throwing mine in the garbage instead
@smithsara79: You don't really know true fear until you're headed to work to teach at a middle school after you tried cutting your own bangs