@labyrinthpretty: I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it???
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@Cycloptomese: Friend: Dude, you just ran a stop sign. Me: No cop, no stop. Friend: Why'd you just run over that frog? Me: No cop, no hop! Friend: Oh my god! YOU JUST HIT A JANITOR! Me: NO COP, NO MOP!
@KevinBuffalo: The best place to get pumpkins cheap is driving around the neighborhood at 4AM. Got 5 nice ones this morning.
@Cheeseboy22: Apparently my 6yo old son went to school with a Spiderman costume under his clothes. The students of Edison Elementary are safe today.