I just saw this in a group on Facebook, so I have no idea where it’s from, but my god, does this infuriate me. You can’t use the same symbol for two different letters!!!!
You Might Also Like
I hate to get all political but unity begins with universal cell phone chargers
[arriving at the international space station]
other astronaut: so how are things down there
me: a bit chafed tbh
Oil the single ladies
Oil the single ladies
Oil the single ladies
Oil the single ladies
If you liked it then you should have put a rig on it
If it’s so good why can’t I find a single car wash that carries the Brazilian wax thingy you guys keep tweeting about?
I don’t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
Slicing an avocado: “I’ll carefully carve two halves then cautiously remove the pit to avoid bruising the fruit.”
Slicing a pineapple: “I’LL SEE YOU IN HELL SPIKEYBOI!”
Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ‘Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.
I like to have gps trackers on my kids just to make sure they’re not home.
The closest I come to hiking is when I eat trail mix.
My 3yo biggest talent right now is threats. Yesterday my husband and him were sliding in socks and my husband slid when it was 3yos turn and he got mad and yelled “I’m going to bake your feet into pies and then you won’t be able to slide at all bc your feet will be pies
A fun thing to do when someone shows you a picture of their new baby is to look confused and just say “I don’t get it?”
Silently watch someone from outside their house 34 or 35 times and suddenly you’re a “weirdo” and “I’m calling the police”
Mother in law said if she was married to me, she’d poison my wine. I said if I was married to her, I’d drink it.
Someone left a handful of random candy scattered on my doormat and I’m having the hardest time recalling whose van I got into recently…
ME: *points at my “World’s Greatest Dad” shirt*
CO-WORKER: *points at his own “World’s Greatest Dad” shirt*
ME: *takes a sip from my “World’s Greatest Dad” mug*
CO-WORKER: *sips from his own “World’s Greatest Dad” mug*
ME: [eyes narrow] *draws “World’s Greatest Dad” sword*
“KIDS, GET YOUR SHOES ON WE’RE LEAVING FOR SCHOOL IN SIX HOURS!!!”
— Centipede parents
Familiarity with a stranger might mean they’re an old soul you knew in a former life.
But it’s more likely a sociopath.
~Inspirational
Pee your name in the snow and you’ll quickly understand why they teach cursive in our schools.
judas: hey man want to come out to last supper
jesus: what?
judas: regular supper, we’re having regular supper tonight, are you free
*coworker showing you a picture of their newborn* Nice, nice. What is that?
Kid: We never have anything good to eat!
Me: Go shake your car seat out.
On some level I’ve always known that caterpillars drink dewdrops. But I never sat down to think about it while crossing the street before.
Who called it heckling a cow and not roast beef?
Welcome to homeschooling. Your house has 847 pencils in it, yet your child can never find one.
My family keeps leaving the door open- what type of exterminator handles flies, mosquitoes, and houseguests?
Me: I think I’ll leave my car windows cracked so it’s not so hot later
Pollen: lol, ok
I received my first order from Imperfect foods, and let me tell you, I’m 100% satisfied.
Turn that Robert Frowney Jr upside Downey Jr.
It’s not illegal to tell a ghost story when a cop shines a flashlight in your face
“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town? Grow up