@xLiserx: I just want to meet a man the old fashioned way: While being exchanged for livestock.
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@AndrewsNotFunny: *I enter the bank and draw a weapon* Teller: holy shit Me: what Teller: you suck at art
@captainkalvis: me: i want a gun Chuck E Cheese employee: sir, this is a- me: chuck e cheese, i know. but i have [lowering sunglasses] 100,000 tickets. employee: [checks to make sure no one is looking] come with me
@animaldrumss: moron: "duhh, i hate taco bell, every time i go there i get diarrhea" me: try getting tacos instead, genius
@jonnysun: [normal life] ive worn the same shirt everyday for a week [packing for vacation] hmmm. i'll prob change a few times a day so thats…32 shirts