@_NTFG_: In a physio waiting room amongst athletes comparing their stories. I can't wait until my turn when I tell them I slept wrong on my pillow.

@mattZillaaaa: A wise man once told me, "Sir for just 50 cents more, you can add cheese to that"

@Tmoney68: Saw a police officer dressed as a pilot today & thought it was weird. Then I realized he must be one of those "plane clothes cops."

@WilliamAder: Just imagine how good prescription cheese would be.

@TheBoydP: I heard that no real accountants were consulted during the filming of the new movie The Accountant. They want the movie to be entertaining.