I know VERY basic Japanese.
When I got to Japan, I tried a Japan exclusive Starbucks drink. My bf is allergic to nuts so in perfect Japanese I asked,
“does this have nuts in it?
The cashier said “ooh, nut allergy?” (In Japanese)
I responded…..
“Sí.”
…
I HAVE NO WORDS 😭
You Might Also Like
“As a creative person I’m often asked where I get my ideas.” Yeah. As a creative person you often imagine people doing that but they don’t.
Answering all the ‘how r u’ DM’s with ‘I got my period’ is going surprising well
Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star?
Beyon-sleigh.
#Christmas #RubbishJokes
It’s not you, it’s me.
-Twins looking through old photographs.
The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.
“When are you due?”
Insulted, she flashes me a glare and relocates to another seat.
My eyes stay fixed on the library book she left behind.
me: what’s the difference between an american and an australian spider?
date: i don’t know
me: one is a spider you idiot
Attractive women post selfies and refer to themselves as ugly. As a group, if we begin agreeing with them we could stop that shit quick.
It’s very important, every few days, to take a break from social media walk outside and throw up on people in person.
how do they get the mashed potatoes into the french fry shell
Him: how about we finish dinner and you can show me your bedroom
Me: why wait? *pulls out cellphone and flips through photos of my room*
me: why aren’t you eating your breakfast?
3: it smells hot
I accidentally killed another cactus & now one of my plants is trying to grow towards the phone to call 911.
OF COURSE IT’S A GENUINE BEETHOVEN! Look at those brush strokes, the stunning use of colour.
When they spot a towel hanging neatly on a rack, teens consider it a personal challenge to rip it down, wad it up & leave it on the floor.
Back in high school I never went for mean girls because I prefer them above average
Jehovah’s Witness: Do you have time to talk about Jesus?
Jesus: *In disguise* sure
JW: He’s lame
J: *rips off fake beard* Big mistake pal
No matter how happily married you think you are, there will always be those times when your spouse eats that last cookie.
I want a man that loves to play video games, loves to watch sports, loves to hang out with his friends, loves to spend time with his family, loves to read, has a full time job, and who enjoys having time to himself. Basically, I need someone who will leave me alone constantly.
{Couples Counseling}
THERAPIST: Tell me what you love most about each other.HER: He’s so kind.
ME: If we don’t have cheese she goes and buys cheese.
She tells me to live in the present then gets upset when I don’t remember our anniversary, pick a lane.
Am sitting in horrible traffic, but fortunately someone is beeping their horn so we should be on the move soon.
9: What did that message on the TV say
Me: It said, the film has been modified to fit our screen
9: How do they know what size TV we have?
Helen Hunt but only when Helen hungry.
The days of good grammer has went
[First date]
Me: What do you prefer, flat or sparkling?
Him: Water?
Me: No, my personality.
What doesn’t kill you is just as disappointed as the rest of us.
I bet the oompa loompas sang savage diss tracks about Willy wonka behind his back
My handwriting looks like a fiddler crab riding a tricycle. No, FIGHTING a tricycle.