Studies say people with high IQ are lazy. Of course I didn’t read the entire article.
I like to move it.
But not move it move it.
Just the one move it.
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This body wash smells like a smoothie !!!
This body wash does not taste like a smoothie !!!
If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don’t think this relationship is going to work.
*see Shawshank on TV guide*
Wife: Don’t do it
*picks up remote*
W: I said don’t do it
*turns TV to Shawshank*
W: YOUVE SEEN IT 90 TIMES
Baby Bear: Someone’s been eating my porridge!
Mama: That’s wonderful, dear. Papa never eats Mama’s porridge anymore.
Papa: Jesus, Linda…
Funniest joke I heard today: The reason Zimbabwe isn’t ready for its own currency is they don’t have a dead president to put on the money 😂
After walking 500 miles and then 500 more, it turns out the door was mediocre at best. 3/5 stars.
me: I’m cold can I wear your hoodie
grim reaper: no
I’m just a girl
Hiding under a bed
Hoping his wife leaves soon
At a dinner party, instead of putting names on place cards, just list everyone’s shortcomings and they have figure out where they’re supposed to sit.