@spencerbakes: "I literally died." - white girls in heaven.
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@velvettusk: My dog is coming home from surgery today and I hope he did ok. He can’t afford another malpractice suit.
@lilgapeach30: Siri just said I'm looking for love in all the wrong places so I'm tryin to figure out what happened to Siri and how my mom got in my phone.
@Sophie2078: Me: What’s your favorite color? Him: That depends. What is the color of your eyes? Me: Awww. You are so sweet. Green. Him: I love blue.