I’ve got some sick beats.
No. Really. I need to take them to a doctor. The antibiotics aren’t working.
I love a relaxing bath at the end of the work day but it makes the other people in the office uncomfortable.
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Him: God you smell good, what is that?
Me: chicken nuggets
I’ve received so many Viagra emails my laptop opened on its own.
I have no idea who is gonna die first in this movie, because everyone is white.
reading rob zombie’s name is a real wild ride. at first you’re like “rob? ok, i know what we’re dealing with here”. then things get weird
Moth: I was thinking, since we all love the light so much why don’t we come out during the day?
Head moth: no, we fly into lamps until we die
Feed me once shame on you, Feed me twice i’m moving in.
YOGI: Close your eyes and breathe.
ME: [angrily rolling up my mat] I was under the impression this was a picnic and you were a talking bear
Its a little cheesy but holding up a boom box outside her window and blasting the song “Cotton Eye Joe” will win her back everytime
Rose: [in Titanic] I’ll never let go, Jack
Elsa from Frozen: lol know what would be funny right now