@BunAndLeggings: I love watching my 3yo and 2yo fight because they throw kicks and nobody makes contact and they say shit like, "you're boring!" and "I have socks!" as insults and it's amazing.
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@daemonic3: Tried to make jokes on this plane about the other passengers' carryon bags, but they went over their heads
@imence2: Some people have no respect. It's obvious I'm on my phone trying to do something & this guys all "STEP OUT OF THE CAR WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"
@TheMichaelRock: Of course every kiss begins with k. That's how the English language works, stupid.
@VeryRudeTweets: I just got kicked out of my local Laser Tag and the police were called. Apparently stabbing somebody to save ammo is not allowed.