@MsSkarsgaard

I miss the things we shared together.
Not the chlamydia but the rest of the stuff was cool.

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@iscoff

TEACHER: please take off your hat in class
*I take off my hat revealing a slightly smaller hat*
ME: I can do this 14 more times

@batkaren

When writing science fiction, always Google your made-up planet name; 9 times out of 10, it’s an existing yeast infection medication.

@ningiou

Everytime you see 2 characters in Gundam that are enemies talk to eachother while piloting their mobile suit and yelling about their ideals, “i wont let you get away” etc, remember one had to start a call and the other had to accept it just so they could beef over the intercom

@CMFC99

So me and my demons are gonna have a few bloody mary’s and see where the day takes us. Would you and your demons like to tag along?

@clownesvanzandt

If men are stronger than women why do male characters in video games need full plate armor while the women only need a chainmail bikini. Checkmate

@subtweetopath

If you don’t sleep now, you’ll sleep during the exam. If you sleep now, you’ll fail in the exam. Life is a mess.

@MauriceBlitz

I hate reality shows. Like this one, for instance, called “The News.”