@TaintUrBalls: I pick up hitchhikers cause then when I'm pulled over the weed is his.
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@bitterADDitude: Hair in bun=housework Hair in ponytail=oral sex Body language is important-So he doesn't get excited when I'm about to 2 scrub the toilet
@RussBland: [JOB INTERVIEW] It says on your CV that you are a magician, can you show me? ME: *Points on CV to where it is says I am a magician*
@ilovepie84: When I smell weed coming from my neighbors house I call him pretending I'm the Mexican Cartel, and accuse him of stealing my drugs.