I really love sarcasm.
It’s like punching people in the face but with words.

You Might Also Like


replying to work emails like “So sorry for the late response! If it helps, I also haven’t talked to any of my loved ones recently.”


Swing states aren’t as much fun as they sound.


God promised men that good obedient wives would be found in all 4 corners of the world, then he made the world round. What a funny guy


Eating Doritos and watching Judge Judy in my underpants.

Whoa! Dude!

Why is Judge Judy in my house? And why is she wearing my underpants??


Went to get coffee for a coworker.

I effed up the order, but used it as a teaching opportunity to illustrate the dangers of outsourcing.


me: a carrot is a crop

friend: yes

me: so *technically* Carrot Top is a crop top

former friend: i suppose


My husband and I made appointments for pedicures and when we got to the salon the person assigned to him is a guy and watching my husband awkwardly try to act like he isn’t enjoying his foot rub is giving me life.


I hate how everybody is acting like they love this new pope so much and they’re such big fans but probably can’t even name 3 of his songs.