@sofarrsogud: I really think the person who first discovered the hallucinogenic effects of licking certain toads was probably on enough drugs already.
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@lloydrang: Cashier: do you need bags? Me: do any of us NEED anything? Cashier: sir, I have a liberal arts degree too Me: plastic please
@WarrenHolstein: Janay Rice says the elevator attack was all part of God's plan. God must not like her very much.
@sip_at_home_mom: 2016 took so many beautiful, talented men I've loved my entire life. Seems unfair that I still have to dodge my ex at the grocery store.