@badbanana: I relate to #PizzaRat because if I found a slice of pizza as big as a car you can bet I'd try my best to take that thing home.
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@tomipuff: I would like a warm hound please "Excuse me?" A flaming puppy "..." Fire canine "Do you want a hot dog, ma'am?" Yes. A scorching pooch
@sliver_of: Imagine how much fatter we’d all be if they made snack bags less noisy so we could finally snack in peace
@trentistweeting: The amount of tinder matches I've gotten has skyrocketed since I changed my interests from "Murdering" to "Not Murdering"