@david8hughes: I remember when I was younger and I picked this girl up from her house, her dad answered the door and was like “have her back by 2200 hours” and I didn’t know military time but I was ok at maths and was like “sure, see you in 3 months”
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@LackOfShame: I've never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot.
@longwall26: "My dream is to create something that both dogs and fraternity brothers will enjoy chasing with equal vigor." -- inventor of the frisbee
@elle91: I saw a man running and started to panic that there was a fire or a bear and then I remembered that some people just do that.
@_coryrichardson: me: im gonna eat florida date: *nervously* w-what me: *shoveling up the earth* this may take some time date: *now crying* please stop me: *mouth full of dirt* no