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@HeyJennyLeone: I see that your IQ test came back negative.
@ch000ch: [gestures to the parents of a crying baby] shhhh, please. my foot's asleep
@david8hughes: Date: what do iguanas eat?
Me: no idea, why?
Date: you've got 5 of them
Me: 2, those 3 are dead. I told you, I've no idea what they eat
@3sunzzz: [Bob Dylan giving singing lessons]
I'd like you to sing it again, but this time plug your nose and put these 5 marbles in your mouth.
@_Mo_lee_: If you eat a pregnant girls food, you're required to have the baby for her
@Darlainky: If I ever pass out, don’t come at me with smelling salts. A salted caramel cookie will do the trick.