She once called me bae so I had to baeurry her in my backyard..
I think the problem is that I’m 20% stud and 80% muffin.
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No, I don’t have time to read the article. Just show me an image, and misguided headline, with the promise of making me angry.
I had no idea we were still brushing our teeth.
[2015 Bird Awards]
AND THE AWARD FOR GROSSEST NAME GOES TO…HORNED GUAN
(Lizard Buzzard quietly puts acceptance speech back in pocket)
Anonymous just switched everyone in Isis from Amazon Prime shipping to basic shipping. Good luck getting Fallout 4 by Christmas terrorists!
Parent -1 Kid-0
Hate when I lay out too close to the shoreline and the other beach goers team up to try to push me back in the water.
Bury me next to a kangaroo skeleton and put boxing gloves on me.
If you don’t have a dog whistle, you can use two teenage girls who have not seen each other in forever.
Relationship status: outside my wife’s window, holding John Cusack over my head.